Crack agents of Premier Lucien Bouchard's ever-vigilant Office de la langue française have waged a hard-fought campaign to rid the république of Anglo (and franglo) ads flogging Hot Dogs Steamés, Mama Pizza, and Danceuses nues à go-go. The land is now safe for honest Gallicisms like Chiens chauds à la vapeur, Pizza Mama, and Danceuses exotiques à go-go. But the devious Anglos have struck back, opening cunning new fronts in the ethereal world of the Web, and the cardboard one of business cards.

One crafty scofflaw named Marc Silverman who runs the Micro-Bytes computer firm in Montreal sets up a Web site that advertises his wares more in English than French. Another, Dave Amsel, flouts the will of le peuple by printing up bilingual business cards that give his shop's address as Décarie Blvd., instead of Boul. Décarie. Worse, he passes out English-only cards, to Anglos.

But after some persistent sleuthing by Quebec's lingo cops - sorry, flics - these miscreants find themselves tied up in the courts until les vaches come home, too busy fighting bureaucrats to cause any more trouble (or run their businesses). Another day, another victory for les gardiens de la patrie. Audiences are going wild.

And don't miss the sequel. Bouche-ardistes 3: La cage aux folles.